I guess if I’m going to put myself out there and write a blog, I have to be honest, right? Ok, I honestly stayed up until 3am watching Wife Swap last night! What can I tell you, it’s addicting. I love seeing the extremes of the 2 families and how they may or may not make an impact on the other one’s life. But you know what I realized after watching episode after episode? There is so much judgement! The wives judge the wives, the husbands judge the wives, the kids judge the wives…ugh so much judgement! No wonder we all go through life tip toeing around wondering if we’re wearing the right clothes, saying the right thing, living in the right neighborhood, etc. etc. etc. We are constantly surrounded by others judging us and worst of all judging ourselves.
I also have something else to admit to you…I am 42 years old and am just NOW starting to worry a little less about what others think of me and focus more on what God thinks of me. After all, He is my creator and I will be judged by Him one day, not all of you! The girl next door surely isn’t getting me my seat in Heaven, is she? I believe women are so worried about what others think of us and the way we parent, our financial status, who we date, what we wear, where we shop, who we hang out with, even what church we go to, that we forget to just look at each other as beautiful daughters of God, created for a purpose.
We have not walked in each other’s shoes (though we may want to borrow them)! We have not experienced the pain or suffering that someone else has in their life, therefore making them who they are today. If you met me last year, you probably have no idea that I grew up with a very low self esteem and used attention from boys to get my self worth. You probably also had no idea that my husband and I were completely broke when we got married, had all 3 of our kids and moved to Texas.
There is a lot you do not know about me, but you may judge me or make assumptions about me.
We do not know that someone we know may have been abused as a child or abandoned by a parent and has still not addressed that pain in her life. She may be carrying that around and that is why she is hard to talk to or get to know. It’s so easy to jump to conclusions about other women without knowing the first thing about their past or what pain they might be clinging on to and still suffering from.
Let’s try to see each other through a different lens. It doesn’t mean we have to be BFF’s with every woman we cross paths with, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. We connect with certain women for very specific reasons at very specific times in our lives and that’s ok, but maybe extending a little less judgement and a little more understanding and grace would be a welcome change of pace. I’m pretty sure that’s what God is wanting from us…leave the judging to Him. Though black is slimming, that long, heavy black robe is cumbersome and not flattering at all! Let’s shed it once and for all!
To this very day, my self esteem is still not the highest that it could be and I am definitely not always speaking truth to myself about why God loves me so much and what He sees in me, but I’m working on it everyday. I have good days and bad. I still struggle with how I look at myself, my past actions, my weight, my marriage and parenting. The kind of friend I am and the kind of “leader” in ministry I will be petrifies me at times. I’m having a little anxiety right now just writing this. However, I have grown so much these past few years and I credit that to addressing the pain in my life head on and searching for God’s purpose in it. I know that we are all faced with very different circumstances and I am trying to use my past heartaches to teach me how to endure future ones, even the ones I have today!
Keep the faith ladies, speak truth to yourself about yourself and look at each other a little differently today, with less animosity, jealously and judgement and more understanding and love. Pray for each other and let God be the judge! After all…He has a spot waiting for all of us and I for one, want to be in the front row!
Ephesians 4:23-25 “Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.”