Women’s Intuition?? I don’t think so!

Last night, laying in bed, I got that sick feeling in my stomach…you know the one, like something just isn’t quite right with the people in your life?  Somebody is up to something and I know it and I can feel it in my stomach and I am going to accuse and investigate until I figure it out.  I tossed, I turned, I played out conversations in my head, I had it all figured out…Then, I prayed…I let the Holy Spirit come over me and I felt a calm inside my soul and I fell asleep.

I cannot tell you how many times I have flipped out on my husband, kids, family members and even friends because I didn’t trust what they were telling me!  I would take a little situation and blow it up into something that became huge, all because of my “women’s intuition”!  I know that my past experiences with those that I love dearly have created a sense of paranoia within me and therefore I would believe what my gut was telling me about any given situation. It’s crazy how many times I’ve been right on with my instincts, my family even tells me I should be a private investigator “when I grow up”.  My youngest son is convinced that I have eyes in the back of my head.  Oh, I wish!
There are many times, however, that my gut was way off.  I have been so wrong so many times and have jumped to so many conclusions that fights were started and turmoil was created for no reason at all.  I have made assumptions about friends talking about me, I’ve accused my kids of things that they’re not even considering doing and my husband has been thrown under the bus by me more times than I can count.  Satan just loves when we do this, right? Stir up a little drama all in the name of the evil one.
I wouldn’t say that I don’t have reasons to feel insecure; I have been lied to and I have been hurt many times by people that I have loved and trusted.  But what I have discovered recently is that there is a huge difference between a “gut instinct” or “woman’s intuition” and that of the Holy Spirit residing inside of the depths of my heart and soul.

How I discovered that is not very easy to describe except that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ is at the highest point it’s ever been in my life.  He is my best friend and He is who I try to go to for every single decision in my life.  If I’m not going to Him about something, then something must be wrong with what I want to do.  I say “try to go” to Him for every decision because there are days and times when I don’t, either with my words or actions, and I usually end up regretting something I said or did. When I gossip about someone, make accusations about the people I love the most, when I put something I shouldn’t on social media or when I’m just being plain sinful, that is when I am not going to Him and I feel it.  I try to shrug that feeling off and ignore it.  Sometimes he’s that annoying little voice that’s getting in the way of me saying and doing whatever makes me feel good at the time, but I know He’s waiting for me to figure it out.  I eventually figure it out.  Lately, I figure it out a lot more quickly than I used to! Yay me! And Yay for the people around me!

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23

I am sinful, I am weak, I am broken and I can only be healed with Him and through Him by way of the Holy Spirit.  I don’t really believe in the gut anymore, well, I know I have one, but that’s not the one I’m referring to.  That gut feeling or women’s intuition has gotten me into so much trouble and has caused so much pain for me and others, it can’t be right.  It has led me to fly off the handle or caused me to say things on a whim that I never meant to let come out of my mouth.  It’s caused me much more harm than good.  I knew that way of thinking and reacting had to go and it’s not something that magically happened overnight! This has been a very very long road for me and is still continuing.

Since I have learned to talk to the Lord every single day, throughout the day, I have formed a relationship with Him that I do not want to sever.  Like any relationship, it takes time to develop and grow.  Every time I go to Him in thanks or in prayer, I feel that much closer to Him and I feel the Holy Spirit take over a little bit more of what’s inside of me.  I’m tearing up a little as I type this, because it’s a feeling I can never fully describe.  I can only tell you how incredible it feels to be led by it.  I rely on the Father, the Son and now The Holy Spirit every chance I get.  This is what guides me through my day and it’s what guides my words and actions to be just a little more Christ like with each passing moment.  God expects us to sin, that is the reason He sent His only son to die on the cross for us.  The blood of Jesus covers my sin and yours and the Holy Spirit can only help us navigate through this life if we tap into that relationship with Jesus.  I mess up daily! I allow the enemy to drag me down with people or situations that pull me from this euphoric feeling.  I just know that with every passing day, if I stay on this path with Him, that will happen less and less.

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Holy Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Romans 8:26-27

My goal when I get to Heaven is to see His face, no…wait…not just see His face!  I want to touch it, I want to grab His beautiful hand, I want to touch His cheek and feel His presence.  I don’t want to get there and search for Him amongst all the clouds and angels.  I don’t want to be in the back row when I get there! My dream is to have a front row seat in Heaven!  The only way I can get there is to continue on this journey with God as my Father, Jesus as my best friend and the Holy Spirit as my guide.

Oh and P.S. the Holy Spirit is not always going to tell you what you want to hear…listen anyway!