Happiness – what does it mean? What does it really mean when people say, “I just want you to be happy”? “If it makes you happy, do it”!
I recently saw that on a text message from a friend to my daughter. She said, “well, my mom said that she doesn’t agree with what I’m doing, but if it makes me happy, then she’s happy.” I kind of got a little sick to my stomach after reading that. Is that what we’re teaching our kids? Is this what we’re saying to each other as we help guide each other through tough times? As long as your happy, then it’s all good…
I see things very differently. A few years back, after my brother died, I went through a very tough time. I didn’t handle his death well and as the days turned into months, I began to self destruct. I made very poor choices in my life and there was no one to blame but me. Those who know me well, know now that I was not “happy” at that point, but it sure did look like I was having a good time. I shopped, I smiled, I laughed, I drank…I looked “happy”. I didn’t even know how truly unhappy I was.
Eventually, my life spinned so far out of control that I was forced to break down and face the demons in my life that were there long before Paul passed away.
I had to get real!
I have since changed the way I look at happiness and now I search for peace and JOY rather than happiness. I am using my faith in the Lord to search for the kind of contentment that you can only get when you can look at each day, no matter what you are faced with and know that He’s got this and He’s got me! To me, happiness is a fleeting emotion that comes and goes as quickly as the weather in Texas changes. I’m happy when I buy a new purse or pair of shoes, I’m happy when I watch a funny tv show or when I eat a good meal. But, happiness can change just as quickly with a mean spoken word or a child’s bad grade or a husband’s bad mood.
I choose to search for JOY in my life. An inner peace that can make me feel safe, secure and content regardless of what is going on around me. Now, if you know me well, you know that I am clearly still searching for that feeling. I can still get sad and angry…I am still annoyed and moody. Forgive me, I’m human and I have emotions. But because of my growing faith in Christ and my belief that I will be with God someday, I am comforted and more at peace than I ever have been in my life.
Being happy is a fun, great emotion but I want to encourage all women in supporting each other in finding inner peace!. Let’s help one another find joy in our lives even when there is sorrow. Isn’t it a disservice to the women that we care about to tell them to stay with that guy if he makes her happy, but she knows he’s no good in the long run because he doesn’t like her kids or staying in a job that makes her happy because the money is great, but she feels worthless and used?
Peace can be found by relying on God daily and going to Him for comfort and thanks and talking to Him every day as if he is your best friend. I want us all to be confident that in our worst times, that He is holding us in His arms and loving us right where we are. That’s a peaceful feeling that doesn’t go away!
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27