My friend died last week. Was she my best friend? No. Was she someone I saw once a month or talked to once a week? No. Did I know the ins and outs of her life? No.
The fact is…My friend died last week.
I spoke at the service celebrating her life, again not because I knew her the best or was closest to her, but because I could do it without completely breaking down and in knowing her for almost 10 years, I could give a pretty accurate look at the beautiful person that God created in her. It was a blessing and a privilege to speak about her on that day!
Thinking about it today makes me wonder who considers me a friend and what would they say about me at my funeral. I am 43 years old and I have run across a lot of people over all of those years. I still stay in touch with people from when I was a kid (thanks to social media) and I have met new people in the past week. What would all of these people say about me at my funeral?
The thought scares me a little bit but it makes me take a deeper look into the person that I want to be.
I know that when someone dies most people show respect and share all of the great, funny and inspiring stories about the deceased, right? We talk about how giving they were, how funny or sweet they were, how much they loved their family and everyone they met just adored them, right?
But, let’s just say there are some skeletons, mistakes, character flaws or “black marks” in that persons life…those are probably going to come to the surface at some point too, right? Perhaps behind closed doors or on back patios, but none the less…
My point? I woke up today saying that I want to be remembered differently starting TODAY! I want to be better! I want to be a better mother, a better wife, a better sister, aunt, cousin, neighbor, friend and daughter of the Lord…TODAY!
I am striving for better. Not perfect and not better than you or the girl next door, but better than me yesterday! If I wake up everyday with that mind set and that goal, then I’m guaranteed victory, correct?
I have made so many mistakes along the way. I have so many regrets and things that I wish that I could do over or take back. I have hurt people that I deeply love and care about with my harsh words or selfish actions. I have pushed people away and even with 1,000 “I’m sorry’s” I haven’t gotten some of those people back. I have messed up more times than I could ever count or even remember. I’m so thankful that God truly forgives and truly forgets all of those things, good thing that audience of ONE embraces me with His grace!
However, humans don’t make it so easy and when we screw up or hurt someone or are just plain cranky and take it out on the wrong person, that may be how that person remembers us on our final day! UGH!! I do not want that. “the last time I saw Jen Morgan she was rushing through the aisle at Walgreens, barely smiled at me and acted as if she didn’t even know me”….I do not want that! I know we all have bad days, but come on! I realize that we are not going to be friends with every single person and that all relationships vary on so many levels, but as I tell my kids, you don’t have to be friends with everyone, but be friendly to everyone! What kind of example am I in that statement?
I think to be better every day, I am going to act as if it’s the last time people are seeing me or talking to me. Yes, I know that all of my close friends that are reading this are going to hold me to a higher standard and call me out on this day in and day out! Good…bring it on! Challenge me to be better! I’m ready for it!
I claim Jesus as my Savior and the Holy Spirit as my guide, then I must try to live it daily. When I fail and I fall down, I will be better tomorrow! If I don’t get tomorrow then the people around me will know that I died trying! That’s how I want to be remembered and thought of!
My friend died last week. She didn’t know it was her final day, but I’m pretty sure that the last words she spoke were probably loving, sweet and kind…that’s just who she was and what a great way to be remembered!
I want that and I want to be better TODAY! So here goes…
Want to join me?
Philippians 4:4-5 “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.”